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2w (edited)

a pharmacist

Parents took loans without asking!

My parents took out loans for a tractor (7 lacs, no trolley), land (7 lacs), and a borewell (1.4 lacs). My dad earns around 50k, and I make 1.3 lacs but live paycheck to paycheck. They didn't even ask me before doing this. Now who's gonna pay these loans? I'm super stressed about it.

Comments

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shaikmoin

ex -

CBSI

I observe everyone is scolding Author, here Author intention is Parents have to discuss with him first but they have not asked him, so better each other talk before taking any step so that no misunderstanding later.

nomadsam

works at

Cognizant

You earn 1.3 L/month and live paycheck to paycheck?!!! What kind of life do you live then? That's my curiosity now.

a pharmacist

author

[nomadsam](username) living paycheck to paycheck doesn’t always mean overspending. m responsible for rent, bills, groceries , I live in a metro, so basics cost a lot. I support home too send money every month for family stuff. No big savings yet cause I’ve been helping with education loans and some personal debt. Haven’t taken a proper vacation in years, and most months, I barely spend on myself. So yeah, the salary might look comfortable on paper, but life, responsibilities, and unexpected family stuff eat into it fast. And now these surprise loans just added a layer of anxiety I wasn’t ready for

boredinlife

works at

Mercer

It's better not to have a kid, rather giving birth and burdening kids... Everyone has life on their own wish to live... It injustice, since parents are giving birth, so the children must to fulfill parents wish/dream/loan/etc.,

a pharmacist

author

[boredinlife](username) would say just discuss everything in the family and see if we can afford this or not

risingbamboo

works at

Rackspace

[a pharmacist](username) I agree with this point

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imolly22

works at

IQVIA

You make 1.3 lakhs but live paycheck to paycheck? Something doesn't workout

thecorporateguyy

works at

Aimil Pharmaceuticals

ab kuch nahi ho sakta

a pharmacist

author

[thecorporateguyy](username) mene baat kari unse abi unhe meri baat smjh ni aarhi hopefully in time ajae

aimod

works at

Quantiphi Analytics Solutions Private Limited

They are buying assets not buying car or something useless. If you are fired tomorrow you have a fall back option.

a pharmacist

author

[aimod](username) I get that. And a part of me is even proud that they are thinking long term. But I won’t lie what’s really bothering me is that it happened without even a heads up. No discussion, no clarity on repayment, just loans in the air and silent expectations now building up on my end.

tidykangaroo

works at

Innovecture

They should have discussed this with you

snowydango

works at

JK Technobuild

sit with them and share how u feel m sure they will understand

a pharmacist

author

[snowydango](username) m going to have a conversation with them

uzumaaki

ex -

IndiaLends

Look at it mathematically and logically: 1. It's not a huge loan. Both of you can work harder and put in more effort for the next 18–24 months and probably clear it through different means or at least reduce the loan amount significantly. 2. Tractor and borewell will be used for farming I suppose, which will give returns and will still have resale value (though depreciating). 3. Land's value will go up, and you'll have partial or complete ownership of it—socially, legally, and emotionally. 4. Combined income is 1.8L (though ur salaries will increase). Even if I take 30% for personal usage, 20% for investment, you still have ₹90K/month to clear the loan. 5. As a generation, we really need to reflect. Not helping our parents in tough times is a sad shift in society. Work your heart out. Work harder, my friend. That’s it. They are your parents. And yes, if they’ve made poor decisions or investments, please talk to them. You seem mature and qualified enough to have a rational conversation with your dad and say, “Dad, your decisions were off—let’s fix this, and not repeat it in future.” And yeah, this phase comes in everyone’s life. Take responsibility, work hard, and breathe. Things get better with time.

a pharmacist

author

[uzumaaki](username) That’s a really thoughtful and practical perspective, honestly. 🙏 And I do agree with a lot of what you said especially the part about talking to them calmly and figuring things out together. but the thing is when you are already living paycheck to paycheck, even 1 lakh might feel like 10 lakh. So 15L+ of loans taken without a single discussion doesn’t just hit financially, it hits mentally too. and trust me itss not about not wanting to help parents. I loveee them sooooo much and of course we do they’ve done so much for us. But when such huge decisions are made quietly, it leaves you feeling cornered. Like, where’s my say in this? Why was I not even informed before being silently added to the repayment plan? And yes, maybe over time, we can reduce the loan burden. Maybe the land will gain value. But right now, the pressure is real. The anxiety is real. And when you are trying to build a future of your own it feels like someone else just borrowed it, without asking. All I’m saying is helping your parents and having healthy financial boundaries shouldn’t be opposites. We can care deeply and still feel overwhelmed. Both things can be true. ❤️ But yeah thankyou so much again for taking out time and helping m holding on to your last line: “This phase comes in everyone’s life. Take responsibility, work hard, and breathe.” Needed that. Thank you 🙏

a content writer

I don't understand the current generation, they don't want to help their parents They are also burdened by raising a kid like you

a pharmacist

author

[a content writer](username) every generation faces different challenges. maybe instead of blaming, we all need a bit more listening and understanding on both sides

human1

ex -

Concentrix Corporation

[a content writer](username) don't be so dumb in this world. If your parents take loan then you would be burdened too we all got out our shit which is already so hard to manage, on top of that managing a blunder someone else did is even more stressful. Your parents could die next day and then you would be liable to pay off the loan. In India where youth is already struggling to get a job or save money for marriage. in such situation how would you even pay off the loan

a content writer

1w (edited)

@human1 I get it, life is already overwhelming. jobs, bills, pressure to ‘settle down’… it’s a lot. But no matter how tough things get, I personally could never turn my back on my parents. They’ve been my support system since day one. If that means stepping up when they need me even if it’s messy or inconvenient I will. Not because it’s easy, but because it’s the least I can do for the people who sacrificed so much for me. It’s not about being naive… it’s about being human. And grateful

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funnypikachu

2w (edited)

ex -

Ambient Infotech

Well, It is what It is, now pay it 🧐

a pharmacist

author

[funnypikachu](username) woh toh hai I have no option left

scarywalnut

currently not working

If loan is not in your name then its not your primary responsibility. Help them out with what you can else it's parents responsibility to provide for the child not the other way around unless they are completely dependent upon you and in that case they did made a shitty decision without consulting you in a matter that directly impacts your future. Additionally I'll recommend if your parents are seniors and you'll be taking care of them when they r no longer working this may soung unethical but let them borrow whatever they want don't repay it let the credit score go bad, and bear the loan recovery agents they'll be fine coz legally only asset on lien will be recovered and if they have no income they'll not be prosecuted

a pharmacist

author

[scarywalnut](username) hmmm I don’t want to run away from responsibilities, but I also wish there was some conversation before locking us into this situation. cz yes, I have my own goals, and this decision does impact that. I won’t let their credit take a hit if I can help it, I agree with setting clear boundaries going forward. We all want to help our parents, but it needs to be sustainable and discussed, not assumed. Thanks for keeping it real, I needed that perspective too.

dragoon

works at

Infosys

These are the loans that you came to know about. What about the loans and sacrifices that they took to get an idiot like you to get educated, which you failed miserably.

a pharmacist

author

[madhusudhan1](username) m not blind to the sacrifices my parents made . I respect and value them deeply. I know I wouldn't be where I am without their hard work. But I don’t think gratitude means I can’t feel overwhelmed. This isn’t about disrespecting them it’s about being part of a conversation that affects my future too. When loans are taken in silence and repayment slowly becomes my silent duty… it’s natural to feel a bit lost, right? I'm not calling them out. I’m just trying to understand how to move forward without losing myself in stress or guilt. love and pressure can exist together and that’s what I’m learning to deal with right now.

flourishinglobster

works at

Newgen Software Technologies

Did they ask you before paying your school and college fees ?

a pharmacist

author

[flourishinglobster](username) they didn’t ask me before paying my school or college fees. And for that, I’ll always be grateful But I also didn’t ask them to. That was their role as parents, and they did it with love, no questions asked. Just like now I want to support them, not run away from it. But the only thing I wish was different... is that we talked before such a big financial step. Not because I need control, but because m a part of this family too. It’s not about blaming them it’s about being involved.

a senior executive

Stress? Nah, this is just character development.

a pharmacist

author

[a senior executive](username) real character development usually comes with some moments of calm and reflection, not just constant pressure.

slowgrowingrockstar

works at

Deloitte

Dear, you would have opted for a lot of things in life that would not have been necessary but they supported you. Likewise, they felt confident to do so. Also I am sure they'll have a plan in advance and would not be counting on you solely. Change of perception may be!!! He's still working and not relying on you completely is a great thing. Not sure but he wants to plan for future too, I guess he would have not worked on planning if he was confident that you'll manage everything, which is tough in this era considering all expenses. Looks like he's being supportive!

a pharmacist

author

[slowgrowingrockstar](username)firstly thanks for putting in so much effort and giving me a perspective just overwhelmed and scared about the future, specially when things weren’t discussed beforehand. will definitely try to have a healthy conversation with them now

a design engineer

You can pay off these loans in 2 years

a pharmacist

author

[a design engineer](username) I have other expenses too

thrivinglobster

works at

CARS24

I don't blame anyone but At least discuss with Eachother about it .

a pharmacist

author

[thrivinglobster](username) yea thats the whole point

a pricing analyst

People living in villages tend to believe they are doing actual hardwork and don't value the work people do in their field. Most importantly they make decisions emotionally and they have the habit of taking decisions without taking any consent or discussion. Speaking this from my experience.

a pharmacist

author

[a pricing analyst](username) I know they didn’t mean harm, and yes, I get that they come from a background where physical labor is survival… but sometimes it feels like my work, my financial stress, and even my mental health just don’t count in their eyes.

kartavyakabulava

works at

KPMG India

see if parents are taking a loan to buy some asset, isn't it about their child's future or wouldn't it be theirs as well.... Also on the other hand, if they are rich and buy assets, will the child say 'it's my parents property will they say 'it's our/my property'?... Also in response to your comment, No parents will have dreams after they give birth to the child, they sacrifice everything and make the child's future as their dream. Please don't say that anywhere. Don't think as m a parent of someone, hence m talking like this. I am not a parent of any child yet but I'm a child who went through a similar situation and never felt of being in that situation.

a pharmacist

author

[kartavyakabulava](username) That intention is beautiful, and I don’t take it lightly. But at the same time… I think it's also fair to wish for inclusion in those life-changing decisions. When we are not part of the conversation but are later expected to carry the burden financial, emotional, or both it can feel overwhelming. especially when we're already struggling with our own responsibilities.

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greatking

A Team Lead

What if you're fired your parents will definitely take care of you and won't think about you has a burden

a pharmacist

author

4w (edited)

@greatking that’s not the case for everyone. For some of us, going back home after being fired doesn’t feel comforting it feels like failure. Not because our parents don’t love us, but because there’s this unspoken pressure or disappointment in the air. Sometimes it’s not even about what they say it’s just how we start feeling around them… like we owe them something or that we let them down. So yeah, love is there but that fear of being a burden? It’s real for a lot of us.

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wonderfulspritz

works at

Cimpress

Yeah they should discuss and fall sleep that night

a pharmacist

author

[wonderfulspritz](username) That’s exactly what’s eating me up inside.

shiningcheeku

currently not working

I think tractor land and borewell are the assets and taking loans for assets is not a bad thing. But at the same point of time parents should i ask you before taking any loan. And if they are taking responsibility then don’t worry just support them!

a pharmacist

author

[shiningcheeku](username) I mean, m all for supporting family, no doubt. But when you’re living paycheck to paycheck and suddenly find out you are silently tied to 15+ lakhs of loan, it’s overwhelming.

cigerrateaddict

works at

Ernst & Young

parents should try and make their kids life easy..not burden them with loans etc.

toobluntforu

4w (edited)

works at

Cvent

@cigerrateaddict es you are right, they might have made the children not to study. So, everyone's life in the family would have been easy by saving money instead of paying school fees, college fees etc.

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