Post
Day to Day Office
9mo
an assistant manager
I cried in a meeting today!
I couldn't hold back the tears during today's meeting. I'm just so worn out. This is my first day back from a week-long trip, and the stress has completely overwhelmed me. For the past three years, I've been given more and more responsibilities at work, without any of my previous tasks being taken off my plate.
As a perfectionist, I always strive for the best, which seems to lead to even more work. Now, I've been given another big, stressful project, and I made a mistake. I was supposed to lead a meeting, but I couldn't manage the group of 10+ people, and I ended up crying.
I managed to hide it, but my manager called me afterward, and I couldn't hold back my tears. I had to end the call and send her a message saying I wasn't up to talking right now. I'm feeling so mentally drained.
Is this what life is going to be like for the next 35-40 years? If so, it feels miserable and pointless.
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jerryco
8mo
works at
Very early in my career, I had to take more than a few days off for my parents'silver wedding anniversary. It was a small team and we had tight deadlines. The request got approved but the manager kinda shamed me in front of the team for asking for such a request at such a critical juncture. I was young and new and it obviously made me break a little. The team lead pulls me aside 5 mins later and said to me "when you're 60, retired and looking back at your career. You're not going to wish you did those 5 extra document reviews. You're going to wish you took some time back for yourself and for the things that mattered in life to you".
I say the same thing to you. It's okay to refuse work. It's okay to start working on your terms. Really, what is the worst that could happen? You sound like a good employee. You'd get a new job.
In my experience, I think I've done some of my best work when I've worked on my own terms for the sake of the team rather than listening to idiot managers.
an assistant manager
author
8mo
[jerryco](username) It's true that life is too short to be consumed by work. I need to start setting boundaries and prioritizing my well-being. I'm going to try to be more assertive and refuse work when I'm feeling overwhelmed. And if it doesn't work out, I'll find a new job that values my mental and physical health.
a sales executive
9mo
user 2
I used to be in a similar position. Prioritizing Work Life Balance is a game changer. I’ve noticed that no matter what I do, I never seem to have enough money. We’re ALWAYS gonna want more, to go higher, to make more, to spend more. I’m breaking the cycle. Learning to do more with less and I’m so much better for it. Yea I don’t get to take a luxury week abroad, but I DO get a 3 day weekend just about every weekend and get tons of flexibility. And I’m more than happy to spend most of them days cuddling up on the couch with the dog and watching tv, or playing video games with the kids or whatever.
a sales executive
9mo
I would be going to the boss with the list, telling them what is possible for you to do, and what is not possible. Which number of tasks do you have the capacity to do? And ask which ones are top priority, because you cannot do it all. Keep it matter of fact. And are they paying you enough for this shit?
mohmaya
9mo
works at
Number 1 mistake is you're a perfectionist. Adjust quality and quantity to the standards of living your paycheck guarantees.
hoofhearted
9mo
A Senior Software Engineer
The art of saying no.
You probably are a perfectionist, you probably want to handle everything because of it, you know you're already stressed, and you know it isn't feasible to continue like this. You legitimately have to learn to say no. If they don't take that for an answer, warn them that it won't be able to get done, and DO. NOT. DO. IT.
Also, if you're in a position to delegate, try off loading some of your work onto people that could/want to do it. I have worked with people like you in the past, and I gladly helped out where I could, because I had to do something during my day.
gemsbond
9mo
works at
Many of us here feel your pain, that's why we're here. You are NOT alone, and we're here to hear, and to share your pain. Life absolutely is not meant to look like this, but somehow, even with the advances of technology, we've dug ourselves into these holes. But you can and will climb out. Minimise your needs, simplify your life and rebuild from a clearer base. You got this
importantscorpion
9mo
works at
[gemsbond](username) Love this response, just perfect. OP, you’ll be OK. Lean on us, we’re here for you. We all have these days/months. Learning what’s good enough (rather than perfect) will help - as the saying goes, perfect is the enemy of good enough. None of us has the time these days to make everything perfect - some things need to be but many if not most don’t. Hang in there, you’ll be OK 😊
sabkibiwi
9mo
A Senior Executive
You are not pointless. You are just not as the right place.
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