Bullies are pretty common in all walks of life.
From school corridors to your office cabin, you may find one anywhere!
So, what if you find yourself working under a hostile boss?
Do you just quit? Or is there a way to deal with this scenario?
But before we get into that, you need to be sure of what kind of behavior can be defined as bully or hostile.
We all have bad days and jumping to a conclusion based on a few incidents just isn’t fair.
If you’re dealing with a hostile manager, let’s take a look at the methods to tackle such a person without quitting your job.
1. Focus on work, not on boss
Even though you’re reporting to this person, don’t forget that your performance is in your own hands.
The first method to deal with such hostile situations is to focus solely on your work and the tasks for each day.
Instead of expecting that your manager will realize he/she is hostile and change their behavior, you can take the charge and focus on your performance.
If you’re on top of your tasks, it will be unlikely for a hostile situation to arise.
2. Identify the reasons behind the hostility
You need to understand your bully.
Sometimes, such hostile behavior may come because of something that can be cleared out with a conversation.
But for that, you need to identify when and why your manager behaves the way he/she does.
If you think there’s a professional reason for the hostility, you may want to have a polite conversation to discuss and resolve it.
3. Set limits with body language
Another great way to deal with a bully boss is by setting non-verbal limits.
Body language is a great way to read as well as communicate with people.
Turning your back towards your boss in possible situations is a great way to establish silent limits.
Also, when you’re talking to your boss face to face, keep your chest wide and chin up.
This sets the tone of the conversation. It means that you’re ready to listen but won’t be intimidated.
Every bully jumps on people who get afraid. So, you can use your body language to convey the message that you aren’t afraid.
4. Keep conversations short and factual
The more you talk with your boss the more you will put yourself in hostile situations.
So, a simple tip is to keep conversations as short as possible.
Communicate only about the tasks in hand and future road maps. Don’t debate and just make the changes which are asked of you.
5. Document meetings and communications
You’re in a hostile work environment, which means you’re most likely to be blamed for things you had no partake in.
So… Document… Everything!
Meetings and especially verbal delegations.
If you’re delegated any task verbally, make sure to put it in an email and send it your manager.
The more evidence you have the less likely you will get into hostile situations.
6. Use tips from couple therapy (yes it works!)
A great way to handle a sticky situation is using a tip from couple therapy!
When you’re in some sort of disagreement with your manager, Use this tip given by Vance Crowe (a communications expert) published on Fast Company:
“Crowe recommends a subtle trick for when you hit a point of contention: Simply repeat back to them what they said and ask 'Is that what you meant?' (a standard trick ripped from couples’ therapy). If they agree to your recap, ask them to tell you more about it. When you repeat their perspective back to them, you give them a chance to expound and, crucially, to feel heard.”
This is a great way to diffuse a situation without yelling at your boss and making it worse.
7. Identify key triggers
Everyone has triggers, and if you can find out your manager’s, then you can avoid stressful situations.
For instance, if your boss doesn’t like you taking ownership or presenting ideas then just avoid it completely.
Paying extra attention to the triggers will help you avoid confrontations and hostile behavior.
8.Reach out to the skip level manager
If all of the above tips don’t work out then maybe you can think about reaching out to your manager’s reporting manager.
Be polite and show your concern regarding the situation and ask for a solution.
In most cases, things do get better as the skip level manager can have an open discussion to resolve the issue.
9. Complain to HR
If all of your attempts seem futile, then it’s time to file a formal complaint.
Be firm and state your case.
Ask them to either change your department or fairly resolve this problem.
Dealing with a hostile manager will eventually depend on the type of person you’re reporting to.
Try these tips as an attempt to resolve conflict and attain your peace of mind at work.
But if all the things don’t work then find another job and avoid such situations in the future. Nothing should be more important to you than yourself!
Read reviews about a company’s culture, management etc. before joining a company in the future to avoid bully bosses and hostile managers!
Good luck!
